This article attempts to explain difference between Illusions, Hallucinations and experiencing Supernatural.
By: Prof. Ayesha Kashif
Does Supernatural exist? Or they exist in human brain only? Contemporary world; consider it to be myth of past. Call them ghosts, spirits, or whatever. Have you ever observed or met a ghost or a spirit? Many will answer in negation. Majority of the people who can reply the above question in “yes” their experiences lack evidence; but share commonality. Those who have not experienced any such supernatural; can argue that here exists simply no support and this topic shall not be discussed, but still literature, movies and tales include super naturals.
Super Naturals are bifurcated in 3 major categories:
1) Spirits
2) Ghosts /Jinnis
3) Angels
Spirits are said to be human soul which comes out from the body as a result of transformation from life to death. Ghosts, commonly known as “jinn” in Urdu, are said to be altogether different species, having capability of living over more than this planet. They are believed to be mortals like humans, yet made of light/fire. Angels, according to different religious believes may differ; but they are believed to be made of light/fire like ghosts, but they are immortals and execute commands of God.
Most common traits about super naturals are:
1) They can vanish and appear any moment.
2) They are free from constraints of space and time.
3) Capability to look like any human or animal.
4) In their presence strange wave passes within body.
5) At times; strong feeling of fear may be experienced; even person willing to commit suicide will not enter in room, where presence of Super Natural is assured.
6) Often said to be big white un-identifiable or non-explainable object.
7) If in form of human, they are said to have big red pepper styled eyes.
Let me share experiences of those, who claim to have conversation with super naturals. Such incidents quoted by sane and educated people, raise question as why will they lie about it? If they are telling truth then what was that? Most common traits quoted with respect to observation are:
1)
They may communicate in dream like situation; where one can hardly differentiate his/her state was fully awake or sleeping.
2) While listening, weeping due to fear may trigger.
3) Communication may not necessarily follow any language. Just feeling gets transferred about what supernatural is saying.
4) Speech is often with echo effect i.e. humans speak in state of flu
5) And when it is not conversation; but voices are heard from large distance. Language is said to be native like. Yet cannot be understood.
Other than observations and communication; few instances have taken in my consideration which seems too difficult to comprehend for those who have never experienced. Few cemeteries are said to be haunted, where spirits can be observed at certain time. Stories of haunted houses, where people get terrified, kicked, slapped or shaken up while sleeping.
Being a psychologist, people often share such experiences with me. A student of mine, who is a house wife, shared her experience with me. She was living in big old house and she forgot the TV remote control at top floor of house and came down to ground floor; she heard allot of stories about presence of ghost in that house but she never believed. Being extremely fatigued; she just wished and communicated in her heart. If here is really some ghost; please bring that TV remote control from top floor. In less than fraction of second, TV remote control was thrown at table. She experienced intense fear and had to shift house.
One of my friend claimed that he had experienced such incidents twice. He told that around 2:00 am he was shook by somebody to wake up. Perceiving someone unfamiliar in his room, made him terrified. He claimed that the jinn penetrated in his body and communicated with him. His other family members witness the change in his voice during that state. Second time when the jinn came he was not even terrified as the atmosphere of the room became enlightened and peaceful. This time the jinn gave him few advices to offer prayers and respect and love few identified people and then vanished.
It is not necessary that everyone one of us have experienced conversation, but provided minor incidents might have been experienced by us; and we tagged it as false observation. Common observations include feeling as if someone has walked from back, or false observation of movement in another room. In some instances few people claims to hear clear sound of reading/recitation from some abandoned room of house; sound of footsteps from upper floor, sounds as if some furniture is being dragged; all these observations become strange when it comes from residents who may live in single story villa. Having no possibility to have furniture over their roof top; to which any thief may wish to adjust at mid of night.
All these stories may be categorized as fiction; but having huge set of people claiming almost same experience? Provoke higher level interest; yet, those who deny, in their natural need wish to either experience it or prove it to be wrong; this is why here attempt has been made to enlist, time, places or other circumstances where super naturals have said to be observed.
1) Abandoned Places
a. It can be vacant house, ruins of some castle/house
b. Jungle (Where humans hardly visit)
c. This can be even some room of house i.e. store room or some place at top floor where hardly anyone visits.
d. Grave Yards (Sound of cries or laughter)
2) At Night, often late hours
3) Abandoned and old trees
4) Buildings with 20 to 30 years of age (less or not populated).
5) Places, where you fear for no reason. It may be any room of your own house.
6) Dirty places/Wash room
Modern science is not able to provide satisfactory evidence in its support. Although; observing something that cannot be observed by others, is known as hallucination. But this is often due to serious malfunctioning of brain; which can be medically diagnosed. And it seems impossible for normal people to experience anything which we call super naturals. But some of the normal people can experience hallucination in severe depression. For example majority of the people after the loss of a loved one claim that the spirit comes to visit them or after a break-up one can feel the presence of the loved one around him/her.
This opens door for another possibility; to which we call Illusion; Illusions are circumstances where humans misinterpret physical object, with respect to visuals. For example, having one’s unconscious mind already occupied by fears; some illusions may take place; i.e. hanging kite may be misinterpreted as some ghost's face or hanging cloths may feel like dead body to some. Although Illusions are visual misinterpretations only; But here exists set of people who are neither suffering from hallucination nor have fears. But still they claim to have experience of conversations as well.
Another very strong argument would be that “Our eyes see, what our mind wants to perceive” i.e moon can be perceived as “Roti” (bread) by a severely hungry or starved person, as our perceptions are greatly influenced by our desires, feelings, wishes, apprehensions, fears and motivations.
Here is great amount of information available and discussed regarding ghosts, daemon, evil spirits, holy spirits, vampires and several observations about haunted places. But it never reached to any conclusion; those who have experienced, believe, others deny. But it definitely identifies human thirst to know more.
Thousands got burned, and millions presented life time sacrifice in different ages and times; but flame of ruthless dowry is burning with never ending fuel of so called ego and traditions.
By: Prof. Ayesha Kashif
Tradition of making payments at time of wedding is older than any written records. Although in some societies and cultures, there exist rules related to “Bride Price”. Bride Price is contrasted with dowry; it is amount of money paid to bride or her family at time of marriage. Where dowry is money or assets that bride brings with her. Another arrangement termed as “dower” has several alterations in different cultures; but popularly it is amount of money paid from husband’s property or by state in case female is widowed.
Anciently, dowry has been considered as more respectable arrangement than bride price. It differs in cultures, but both traditions “bride price” and “dowry” may exist in some. Reason dowry was considered more respectful was that; “bride price” used to be calculated as slave girl’s market price. Or as compensation of total labor hours that she could contribute to her parent family.
Whereas dowry was considered to be a gift given by wealthy family of women; but with time it escalated such that higher the amount of dowry, more respectable wedding arrangement would be considered. It could also be considered that it is to snub barbaric nature of male by providing even more food to his barbarism. It is commonly believed that higher amount of dowry may ensure that husband or his family will not ill treat the bride. In social war of keeping high esteem, standard expectations of dowry have increased many folds.
In Pakistani society; except few areas in North, ancient tradition of dowry is practiced and it is well known to majority of educated class. That it is aged tradition; that may have more implications than benefits. But there exists very few to have courage to challenge this tradition. I am trying to point few most common window dressed arguments that fall in favor of dowry.
- Young men cannot afford to settle with their new family
- To have peaceful life for bride, it is important to buy her house
- Everyone does this, and our daughter shall have more dowry than anyone else did
- It presents how much we love our daughter
- It compensates, less share that females get in parent’s property inheritance
- Socially desire act cannot be stopped; what will other say about it?
If all above arguments are right, then how come few societies have practiced “bride price” instead of dowry?
It may be considered as simple principle of supply & demand of both genders. Where exists more men; and less wealthy women; societies may practice “bride price”. Here men shall pay price as gift/ compensation to bride’s family to get married. Whereas societies having more women and less wealthy men; to make lucky match. Dowry is practiced. But we cannot control gender balance in society; how can we judge what is better for society? Dowry or Dower?
Majority of the poor class families still think in this cruel way that "If I don’t kill her today; tomorrow she will kill me financially or someone else will burn her for the sake of dowry," this is the reason; why millions of women are put to death; even today, especially in Indian society.
Dowry is one extreme; due to which we observe every day stories; where old man depletes all his resources that shall help him live comfortable last days of his life, in favor of his beloved young daughter.
This is why time is back; when daughter is born; and her father start calculating heavy financially burden that lies over his shoulders. It is not only with lower socio-economic class. Our educated class too is not educated. Our religion advocates, birth of female child as blessing. And fathers will be rewarded heavens for bringing up female child without discrimination. But we consider them as obligation and punishment from God.
Muslim fathers shall not be burdened with dowry, instead young men shall give women their obligatory gift (Haq Mehar) ; happily as presentation of their promised love. Nikah is considered to be simple ceremony, with few close invites and witnesses. And party thrown by groom (Waleema) is grand feast in celebration of wedding. Though, increased amount of financial burden over groom (dower /gift to bride) can cost several problems for societies too. This is why it is recommended in Islamic Religion “The best of the marriages is one which is least burdensome in the financial sense to the families of the bride and the groom"
Alas! Such nice principles we have forgotten in place of outdated traditions that we have borrowed from societies we have lived with. I am ashamed to state that; in depth of our heart, today daughters are considered as burden & curse.
We very happily consider gift to bride (Haq Mehar) as optional or extra; where dowry is accepted as mandatory practice. For Mehar applies no financial formulas, no inflation adjusters. But for all our routine life we do. Please think, where we are leading our society? Today again evil of dowry compels us to feel happy to have son, and sorrow to have daughter. Allah’s appreciated practice of Nikah is becoming challenging task for families; due to which arise many unacceptable problems that is polluting our society.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
Or
Is That the Opposite That Attracts?
By: Prof. Ayesha Kashif
It may sound taboo to many, and few may find surprised when exposed to this topic. But there exists humans who find more attraction in older age opposite gender than younger ones or people of their own age group. To start with; this attitude has been significantly noticed in females that they tend to get attracted towards mature men than their age fellows. It needs to be understood that “Age-Gap” primarily is a taboo because societies by and large find it oppose to their norm. And social norms arise from practices that majority exercise. Because majority exercise one practice, since inception of societies they tend to snub opposing norms as it tends to threaten stronger group’s freedom.
Even as per definition of “Norm” or “Normal”, it is known to be something “Usual”. Which mean, exercised by majority; although this does not mean that all exceptions are harmful? Majority of humans get attracted to opposite gender of their own age band. In our society it is even desired that male shall always have partner at least 2 to 4 years younger in age.
Having said this; it even seems acceptable in societies like ours; if female get married to person 10 or 15 years older than her. Although; it does become issue in many families; it has been found that females in their young age crave for higher financial security and emotional stability. Few cases have been reported, where females fell in love with their father’s friend, where girl age in her 20s and male in 40s. It is normally the case with females; who wish to be distinguished; or compete with their other female mates. They wish to feel; that their partner is financially stronger, stable and mature in feelings with respect to other boys, who appear so immature and childish in comparison.
Not only this; dominance of role also emit aroma that causes magnetic attraction. Research shows that many females who fell in love with older men, they were in stronger social role. For example, Young girls fall in love with their Teachers, Bosses or Professors especially if their physical appeal is attractive and their thoughts are impressive enough to die for. On other hand, mature men definitely find blossoming pretty young girls more attractive and tend to get along well.
It is not always fascinating and enjoyable in the longer run. These young girls expect allot of time from their partner, where their mature partners tend to be “busy”. And due to their busy routine, they fail to enjoy great time together in comparison of normal couple that spend more time together in initial days and grow mature together with time. Girls tend to get either too insecure about their mature partners, or find them busy all the time. Other than that; with time mature men align other responsibilities i.e. wife, kids, business, job, relatives, etc. Majority of the males extend greater effort to be in touch till they attain girl. Once attained, their top priority stays their career which is their identity. So my advice to girls is; please be very careful when you decide to couple with mature men. You may find short run satisfaction of being too secure and financially powerful. You may enjoy his dominance for a while; but this too may become a little depressing and irritating in the longer run. Other than this; these mature men know from start what they want, and what they do not. Please realize now what you really want; because this aura of his personality style, financial strength or position may become too redundant for you after ten years.
It seems quite understandable so far unless another twist steps in. Being a psychologist I have come across a lot of cases where young boys, who tend to fall in love with elder and mature women. They claim to have no attraction in young females, or females of their own age group; rather they like aged women. To say; a 24years old boy will like females in their 30s or even 40s. Subjects find it very difficult to express their feelings because of social pressures and taboos; other than that, they even question themselves as why they like older women more? If they are not aware of fact; they might be overgrown within, or they might have attained maturity before age. But to answer this surprise; such males who are early matured, they also find themselves little miss fit with their course mates / class mates in routine activities. They find maturity in their own thoughts and consider their mates to be quite childish and stupid. With that; they unconsciously believe mature women to be more understanding and easier to handle. Apart from this; they do find elegance and grace in older women. Other than that “Grass is always greener on the other side of fence”. Males find it impossible to couple with older women; this is added reason of feeling greater attraction towards elderly females. Moreover it is one of the most powerful human motives that we are always fascinated by the things that seems to be difficult or impossible to attain. For example a person who can afford to buy a Toyota Corolla will always be more attracted towards a Mercedes or BMW which is out of his financial reach.
Not all such arrangements have been found unsuccessful; but males find them challenged soon when they cross mid thirty. As many young females tend to get attracted to them; and their partner may not appeal that pretty any more. Many suffer from feel of guilt; and emotionally challenged as at that point they cannot leave their partner who have already aged.
Message here is not to condemn those who may fall in love with someone with greater age-gap. It is just to make everyone realize that there may exist exceptions; we shall respect everyone’s opinion and feelings. We cannot convince anyone to change his/her feelings for anyone, as it is usually said that “there is no logic in love”. Apart from it; those who do like someone with increased age gap shall consider advises given above before finally stepping ahead.
Posts
All Comments
